Dardick resident and freshman Sean Cassidy has spent the last six months in relative isolation. But all that should change in the coming months.

“With the end of the writers’ strike and the return of some of the floor’s favorite shows, I’m really looking for my popularity to rise,” he said.

Cassidy had one of the most highly trafficked rooms at the beginning of the school year when his TiVo offered a unique entertainment opportunity to a variety of students. Floormate Jonathan Blowdart was a frequent visitor to Cassidy’s room.

See, parents should always pack their kids off to college with TiVo. It really helps their social life. Back when I was a student we had to make due with VCRs and, believe it or not, LaserDisc players! We didn’t even have DVD! Kids these days have to keep up with the times. Make sure they have a TiVo and, of course, a laptop for all the school work – and TiVoToGo (for those boring lectures). If you really want to spoil them, give them a Slingbox too!

If you didn’t notice, the article is in their April Fool’s issue.

If that isn’t clear: This is a joke.